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I blog somewhat more frequently elsewhere, but I guess it's good to drop a breadcrumb here once and again. I was reading about spirituality in my Fundamentals of Nursing textbook (I am in my second of five 6-month semesters for WGU's BSN program) and I've always assumed that I would live longer than my husband, but what if I don't? So that's basically led me to writing a book for that purpose. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't read it, because that's just not his way. But if he wanted to or if my kids wanted to, it would be nice.

This has led to me poking around my blogs and things.

When I was plucked from "Virginia, my home sweet home [I wanna give you a kiss]" and did my senior year in Salt Lake, I first thought of the idea that alien abductors checking in on my annually and sometimes having trouble finding me. I also thought of this when I was in Turkey in 1992. And then when we quite improbably repurchased a prior home in 2009.

So, I'm in school. We are very excited that our child who will be 5 this spring is using 2 and 3 word phrases. It's slow going, but progress continues. My husband was given a choice to relocate or resign in the summer so he resigned and is giving private law practice a go. We have a few months living expenses in savings. Our oldest is a sophmore at U Rochester (far far away). We have a new driver and a middle schooler. Life is pretty good, I think. Now and then I quarrel with the high schooler about their grades relative to their stated life plans, but I'm not super worried about them. They may be very worried about themselves, though.

What stays?

Last night my daughter was asking me how many blogs I have, and I realized the answer may be around 15.  But I think Livejournal stays because so much of my activity here is private or friendlisted, and I don't know how that would translate to a wordpress.  I may consolidate the 3 blogs I've had here over the years, now that I know such things are possible.

My educational plans are somewhat up in the air still.  Still chipping away the the WGU possibility.  Wrapping up midterms.  And my husband is trying to decide what to do about his job.  He has a transition coming up this summer.  I'm open to getting a job, which could work with WGU.

I won my section a the college science fair, which was pretty exciting, and unexpected.  They guy next to me had a top notch project where he did DNA fingerprinting on nutritional supplements, who I was sure would beat me.  I'm not sure if I won because mine was interdisciplinary, an original hypothesis (sunlight increases diabetes risk) or self motivated.  Though the object of the fair was science communication, so there's a chance my public speaking class helped with that.  I even saw an article in the last month that said we don't need more STEM graduates, we need STEM graduates with humanities backgrounds.  Well, here's the presentation if you're curious:

Schroedinger's class schedule

I have two nursing bachelors programs I’ve applied to, the U of U and WGU. Both are pending a transcript from Strayer University. When WGU never received theirs, I thought it was WGU. But the U hasn’t gotten theirs and I ordered one to come to my house, which was supposedly sent last Friday. So that’s starting to look suspicious. If the U doesn’t get it today, my submitted application will not be complete. I didn’t know, until after 5 last night, that they hadn’t received it so overnight isn’t soon enough. So it will be interesting to see what happens there. I emailed them to ask if my application can count toward the May deadline.

For WGU, I may or may not need to take a public speaking class. I was able to register for an online section, so I am excited about that. But that puts me up at 4 classes, and I only wanted to take 2 or 3. So the next 12 hours are going to decide. If am not up for entering the U for fall of 2015, I will delay taking Pathophysiology, because it is at a very difficult time with my children’s school schedules. There is childcare through campus, but the class straddles morning and afternoon, so I’d have to sign up my child for both blocks if I went through them. I guess there was a childcare referral service posted at the pediatrician’s office I could look into.

But I’m feeling really good today, unlike yesterday when I was so frustrated by all this. Part of it is I came up with an idea I’m really excited about that I can pitch in a scholarship application essay. It has to do with the antidepressant paradox, learned optimism, and military suicide rates. I get excited about strange things sometimes.

But my theory is that the antidepressant paradox reflects a disjoint of mood and motivation. When depression is treated chemically but the underlying problems have not been addressed, the patient may move from “Life sucks and I can’t do anything about it” to “Life sucks and I CAN do something about it.” Depression has a protective aspect. It keeps us from moving forward when we’re in a painful situation. They find the antidepressant paradox more in young people, which also describes the military population.

I’ll need to look further into it. I only have wikipedia’s word the the military even uses Learned Optimism as an intervention. But it would be interesting if if has this same effect of fixing motivation without correcting mood. The implications of motivation and mood being independent is really interesting to me, by itself.

Registration Drama

On Friday I was thinking of taking the accuplacer, but when I started looking over the college algebra review book, I had a giant case of “no stinkin’ way am I ready for this”. So I wrote my Ab Psy term paper instead.

I looked at ways that becoming a psychology major would actually work much better for my schedule this term, and for becoming a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I guess where I’m at is needing to talk to academic advising and see what the deal is with the hours limitation on student loans, what they require in terms of classes being in a program. Though I need to take pathophysiology, if I’m able to… it says you have to apply in order to get in.

Last year I had this same difficulty with regard to Anatomy and Physiology. I wound up taking them in summer.

I think I will register for Math 1050 so I can take it online if I’m not able to pass the test. Because if I don’t get into nursing school this round, I need to be take general chemistry for my PA school apps next year. I also think that a relatively few number of science courses may have been a factor in not getting into PA school this year, so that would be another reason to stick with Biology if I’m able to.


Plan A is out

I got notified last night that I wouldn’t be interviewed for PA school at the U. I had decided not to apply to schools in DC and No. VA due to the commute, and the Maryland schools needed microbiology before application. The other Utah school requires General Chemistry, which I hadn’t succeeded in getting into this semester. So that’s it for PA school this year.

In the meantime, the local nursing programs have shuffled their timeframes. Rather than the accelerated vs. traditional BSN programs, the U now has fall and spring BSN cohorts (4 semester) and everyone must have their general ed before starting. AND you can only pick one to apply to.

SLCC used to have Fall and Spring starts, but now they only have Fall. And they have the CNA requirement, which is either full time for 2 weeks or evenings for 3. Unless I can find a program with a more favorable schedule, I think that may be too much for me to get into a course that will take 2 extra years (2 years to RN, 4 semesters (online) for BSN). Of course, during the RN to BSN I could be working and gaining experience for an eventual DNP application.

If you’d told me last summer, when I began all this, that my present happiness depended on getting into general chemistry, I wouldn’t have believed it. I probably won’t believe it again when I get into the middle of it. :P If I can’t beat the accuplacer, it looks like the U merely recommends but doesn’t require Algebra before chemistry. And they allow Organic Chemistry after one semester of General, whereas SLCC requires them to be taken sequentially, which is an intriguing little wrinkle.

One more factor is that the PA program in Provo considers the GRE, which the U does not. I should probably retake the GRE since I’ve been studying college math. Well, we’ll see.

I am sad I didn’t get in, but 2016 would be better for my family. My youngest will be in kindergarten, and my oldest at home will be that much closer to driving. I’m surprised at how disappointment makes me want to both sit still and eat all the time (which I’m not doing, but it’s pretty persistent.)

Hey yo!

Today on a forum we were talking about the breadth of social media platforms and LJ came up.  I posted here pretty regularly from 2004, I think, until 2012 (I changed usernames at a certain point.)  Man, that's 8 years.

I guess the main thing is I started posting quite a bit on Sparkpeople, though my presence there also took a hit when I went back to school full time fall of 2013.  I have a number of projects on Wordpress, but for the most part they are eBooks more than blogs.  Or something.

I have moved to having one that is more about blogging, because I was having a hard time remembering where I had left things.  Anyway.  I should probably look in to one of those blog printing services if I don't want to lose stuff permanently.  

Cyberspace is a fragile thing

I was putting together a roster of my blogs today and found that xanga has gone the way of dodo.  I was able to import archives to a wordpress, but dang.  And I thought it might be good for me to have more activity here, even if it is reposts from blogs elsewhere.  There is a site I started on Wordpress because I liked the name, but I'm not sure where I was going with it and I even deleted the blog but the site still had an about page so it didn't disappear completely.  Today I was thinking about identity and subatomic particles, and decided that was the place to post it:
"This has come up a few times in the last couple days, in trying to define self care we must first define self, and self is a big concept.  My mind immediately goes to Kierkegaard’s relational litany in The Sickness Unto Death.

I think I can finally say what this means to me is that each relationship has a living character, or emergent property that arises from the interaction of two individuals.  The self may be thought of as that which an individual brings to all their relationships...

Mere Happiness

Hello hello

I was looking up my sister's blog on my mom's website and was reminded that this is the blog of record there.  Which is too bad since many of the entries are friend locked.  Maybe I should go back through and see if there are ones that could be unlocked.

I'm up too early this morning and might try to go back to bed.  My husband gets stupid weather alerts on his cell phone at 5 that woke me up.  I tried to go back to sleep but I was still awake about an hour after.  If I want to get any sleep before the baby wakes up I should probably go back to bed soon.  I guess I need to really buckle down about kicking everyone off to bed earlier.

School's going well.  I'm trying to not study on Sunday and it's hard to think about anything else.  I guess there's always laundry.  But you can read more of this topic at http://vtisha.blogspot.com/ though I again see there's not paragraph breaks on blogger.  sheesh.  I also should post something here:

Hi friends!

I was rounding up all my blogs today and decided to have a look around this place, and since most of my friends have posted in the not to distant past, I guess I'll dust it off and keep up the introspection.

One thing that happened is my youngest, who will be 30 months this week, was diagnosed with High functioning autism.  So I started a blog about that.  I started a conservation movement with my sister, which may someday yield a book.  I've continued to blog about maintaining a healthy weight, which may also someday yield a book.  I realized that I'm actually passive aggressive, and not just someone who gets called passive aggressive in internet arguments all the time.  It's been quite the summer.  And I decided to go back to school, at community college.

This last item has given me some pause to think about what has transpired in the last 5 years when I last tried to go back to school.  I had another baby, and even though he's a bit odd, he's inquisitve and adorable.  I've lost 57 pounds and built up my muscles quite a bit and may even have learned how to run without hurting my knee.  Oh, and my husband completed lawschool and we are still married, which is no small accomplishment.  I also accumulated 2 1/2 years of clinical work experience that will be helpful in my nursing school application.

Because it is nursing.  That's what I started thinking about 5 years ago.  I went back to school in 2009 for GIS and then one day I realized that wasn't what I should be doing.  Soon after we found ourselves on the bobsled track of learning disorder diagnosis that took a year and a half to work through.  But I'm fairly hopeful I'm on the right track now.  I have blogged and posted about it in bits and pieces on many parts of the internet.  And maybe I'll scrape that all together into something coherent one day.

Nanowrimo eek

I was going along really good until I started to crash into the content I've already written.  While I could just try to rewrite it, that's not really in the spirit of Nanowrimo, and my voice and rhythm are all off.  I guess when I was deciding to do this, I had planned to possibly shift gears to my nonfiction project and continue tracking words.  This is also not in the spirit of Nanowrimo, but I find it's less not in the spirit.  :)  Maybe if I can get caught up on words (tomorrow is the mid point) then I could get some mental space on what I want to do next in my novel.